Since the fifteen-second-long teaser for Calvin Klein Concept's Super Bowl commercial debuted online last week, the Internet has been comparing its centerpiece, model Matthew Terry, to David Beckham, who frequently poses for H&M in loincloths from his Bodywear line. Not ones to lump all totes hot dudes wearing undies into one group — Matthew can be Matthew, and David can be David, and let them go forth and multiply with us — we abstained from chiming in. But with today's timely release of Beckham's new underwear ad, we're motivated to opine using our arbitrary point system. Herewith:
Beckham: The "short film" is one minute and 40 seconds long, whereas Terry's complete commercial is only 30 seconds, so Becks gets points for lengthier ogling time (+5); however, twelve seconds in, we're treated to the first of two wedgie removals — why would this be his signature move? (-7 points per removal.) The entire scenario is implausible (-5), especially that he'd make it so far in Holiday Inn–like slippers (-2), but we appreciate that he's shedding clothing along the way (+7). Also, the pool scene: totes hot dude in water (+10). The resolution is predictable (+/-10, whether you like a happy ending), but we called the 1-888 number on the van and Top Tours Inc. does not exist. We won't deduct further points; see previous note about this scenario being implausible. Anyway, because we love Guy Ritchie, who directed this ad, and Guy tries to wear a pocket squares on the red carpet, Beckham gets bonus points (+15).
Terry: As mentioned, his spot is only 30 seconds long, which reduces the gawking period, but arguably leaves the viewer wanting more (+/-7 points). Additionally: more abs (+6), tinier underwear (+10), and fewer tattoos (+/-5, we're willing to work with you). At four seconds in, there are two Matthews, the best thing to happen since there was one Matthew (+15), then he turns into an engine part, which is even less plausible than Beckham's romp through Beverly Hills. And it infringes on our short, precious time spent together (-7). Come 22 seconds, and you will see the Blue Steeliest Blue Steel ever (+12). We'd like to thank the camera crew, Calvin Klein for designing underwear that does not cause wedgies, and Mr. and Mrs. Terry (+15). Also, in this interview we just read on UnderwearExpert.com, Matthew says, "I love to cut firewood." He could build you a fire (+37).
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Filed Under:
daily male
,david beckham
,matthew terry
,models
,model tracker
,h&m