Between Seth MacFarlane's "We Saw Your Boobs" song and Anne Hathaway's nipple-y dress at the 2013 Oscars, one would have thought women's breasts were nominated for an award of their own. It's true: Boobs do garner their fair amount of attention, but there are definitely times when we would rather not discuss our chests.
Big boobs are like celebrities: They are beautiful to look at, but difficult to work with. The lingerie industry has created a multi-billion dollar business out of harnessing, supporting, wrangling, wrapping, pushing and smooshing breasts into desirable shapes. That said, there are times that we don't want to hear about our breasts.
We took a quick poll amongst busty ladies to find out just which comments they would like to never, ever (like, ever) hear again.
1. "Stop complaining--some women pay money for those!" That's all well and good, but it doesn't make it any easier to fit into low-cut tops, keep our button-down shirts from gaping and inadvertently exposing ourselves during board meetings or find a top at a mass retailer that doesn't give us uni-boob.
2."Ugh, I'm so jealous!" Cue the nervous laughter. Is that meant to be a compliment? Just because you might want them, doesn't mean that we want them. In the meantime we're stuck with them, so your jealousy is useless.
3. "Guys must love them." They do, but they're not the ones who have to truss them up like a chicken ready to be cooked anytime they want to leave the house.
4. "Have you ever thought about getting a reduction?" That's just plain rude. Suggesting plastic surgery of any kind is offensive. Invasive, expensive surgery is never an easy option.
5. "You look just like Christina Hendricks/'Mad Men'/Marilyn Monroe/insert-50s-pin-up-here." We know this is meant as a compliment, but it pigeonholes us into a stereotype that may not be our natural style, leaving us feeling stuck. The truth is, it's a stereotype. As one colleague told us, "I could wear tighter things like Joan Holloway on 'Mad Men.' But her style is not my style, and just because we have a similar body type doesn't mean that I have to conform to one certain style, does it?"
6. "Do you have back pain?" Well, thank you for your concern, and what are you trying to say? Any curiosities about our bodies should be directed ... nowhere. Additionally, it makes it seem like our complaints are only valid if our boobs are causing us extreme physical pain.
Let's make this easy: Think of discussing one's body parts like the golden rule. "Do unto others' breasts as you would have done onto your own." Calling attention to boobs -- whether big or small -- invites insecurity. So rather than comment, just quietly imagine what it's like to walk a mile in a 36DD bra. Then imagine running in it.
Check out our slideshow of more unacceptable comments:
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