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Pioneers of Conscious Uncoupling Now Free to Unconsciously Recouple

Hollywood Stands Up To Cancer Presented By The Entertainment Industry Foundation And Event Chairs Jim Toth And Reese Witherspoon Benefiting Stand Up To Cancer - Inside

After two years, two months and one day, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have reached a divorce settlement, unveiling the final puzzle piece in the great enigma that is the Conscious Uncoupling process.

So, the bad news for couples looking to follow in their footsteps: This may take a while.

The good news: You will still be able to brunch together, enjoy a weekend in the Hamptons, protect one another from stalkers, make beautiful music, and secretly communicate via monogrammed underwear.

Consider a GOOP-approved separation today!