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Replace Cupid With Ice-T

For decades, Valentine’s Day has been promoted by Cupid, a sometimes-cute, sometimes-creepy, baby angel with wings and a bow and arrow. And for the most part, that’s been fine. His baby body floated from hopeful lover to hopeful lover, shooting his little arrow of love into their bums. But maybe it’s time for someone new, someone fresher, someone less violent and more up with the times.

Maybe, it’s time for Ice-T.